Going Home....but not Finished

This is the first time I haven’t cried when I left Honduras. I had a peace about leaving, but yet a certainty that I would be back. I have to….my heart is there.

The team generally shares our experiences each night during devotion and worship time. One night as I cried and shared my feelings on some of the things we saw, someone said that it was nice to see that you never get ‘used to it’. I pray that I never get used to seeing people suffer and live in poverty.

So now as I return home, and reflect on this past week I know that there is much to do and no time to waste. We often cruise through life thinking that it’s all about us and what makes us happy and is convenient. We were made for more. To do more….be more. I am my happiest when I’m helping others.

As I carried one of the children this week down the road, the child started to get heavy. My back was hurting and my legs were getting tired, but there was no way I was going to put the child down and make him walk through the mud. I thought of a quote I heard one time “he’s not heavy….he’s my brother”. The inconveniences that we encounter while doing things for others are insignificant, if we put them in the perspective of who they are or better yet….whose they are. Jesus said “If you do this for the least of these, you do it for me”.

I have so many thoughts to process from this past week. So many experiences and encounters with people who didn’t just steal my heart, they encouraged my spirit. My prayer is that this blog will allow others to see the ministry in Honduras and be inspired. I want everyone to see past me and see the needs and the urgency to make a difference in the lives of people around us…wherever we are.

You may not be called to Honduras on a mission trip, but you do have a mission. Look around and see people crying out for help. We all have circles of influence and maybe you are the only person that can reach or help someone. Life is an adventure and each day holds endless opportunities to meet a divine appointment. As the song says ‘You don’t want to miss this”. I know I don’t!

I may be going home, but my mission is not finished……..

On the way to airport in San Pedro Sula. Reflecting on an amazing week. Leaving a part of my heart in Honduras.....

A Heart Longing for More

Another day in Honduras in which I received MUCH more than I could possibly give. We spent the day in El Milagro working out of an orphanage ‘Alpha & Omega’. We treated the children of the orphanage, the children of the nearby school and the people of the community. The first couple of church services, I felt myself being emotionally detached. I went through the motions of loving the children and I prayed for them as we did children’s ministry, but I wouldn’t look in their eyes.

Yesterday’s goodbye at Emanuel shook me to the core. I couldn’t sleep last night because every time I closed my eyes, I saw the girl's face crying and her mother asking me to take her home with me. It wasn’t so much the fact that I couldn’t take her home, it was the love I saw in her eyes for me and the love I felt for her. I had only known her 3 days! I have been on 13 mission trips and have had lots of kids that stole my heart, so I’m not so sure why this was different….but it was. However unintentional, I had turned off my feelings and didn't know what to do about it.

About the time I was having this realization, Jennifer and I were walking back to the building. I started to share with her what I was feeling. I didn’t even finish the first sentence, when one of the little girls from the orphanage came running up calling my name and threw her arms around my legs. As I bent down to talk to her, she told me she loved me. Hmmmm does our God have perfect timing or what?

Of course my heart melted in an instant! To turn off the pain, is to also turn off the blessings. It’s a blessed pain that I feel when I have to leave these children. All I can do is show them love and receive their love in the meantime, remembering that God knows best and will take care of the rest.

I had an awesome day of children’s ministry, helping with family photos (lots of baby kissing) and enjoying the beautiful view of the orphanage nestled in the gorgeous mountains of Honduras. God didn’t let me stay disconnected for too long or I would have missed so many moments that are forever etched in my heart…..a heart longing for more.

Looking for God

This morning as we prayed, I asked for God to open our eyes so that we could see Him again today.  We had an awesome morning in church.  When I had a break, I walked down to the pulperia (store in a house) to get sodas for some of the team.  On my way back I was thinking about my morning prayer and the fact that I hadn't had any big 'aha' moments like I had seen the past two days.  Just as the thought crossed my mind, I felt a gentle breeze come from nowhere and at that moment....I saw God.  I saw Him in the gentle breeze, in the mountains surrounding us and in the sounds of the team and the Hondurans as I approached the work site.  This new sighting of God continued throughout the day, moment after moment as even the simplest of interractions revealed God.

 

  An older gentlemen came to play guitar at the church service and I asked him to play and sing with the children as we circled for prayer.....I saw and heard God in that man. 

  

One of the men who prayed with Marietta yesterday, came and prayed for the children.  With faith like his, these children will be blessed for sure.  I saw God in that man.  God was in each team member as I watched them interact lovingly with the Hondurans.  God's face beamed through the faces of the children as they looked up at me with big brown eyes and gorgeous smiles. 

At the end of the day, I walked up the mountain and from the top, I stood in awe of God's majestic beauty surrounding us. 

The people of the village asked the team to circle around while they presented us with certificates of appreciation for coming to help them.  They even titled us all 'Doctors & Doctoras'.   Guess we can practice medicine in Honduras now.   LOL  We sang and prayed with them, and God's presence was overwhelming.

 As we started to leave, a little girl who had been my shadow all week was crying and holding me so tight that I could hardly breath.  She and her mother had asked me to take her home with me. Tough moment, but through tear streaked eyes, I saw God in that little girl.

It's amazing what you see when you are.....LOOKING FOR GOD.

Time Stood Still

Today was a little less rainy but the site still had lots of sticky, stinky mud. Saul took size orders and went to town to purchase rubber boots for the team last night, so we were all stylin’ in our black rubber (not so comfortable) knee boots. One of the ladies of the community invited us to use the front porch and yard of her home for church today. They had cleaned up the yard for us and the small covering of the porch made for dry ground for church.

After the preaching, we brought the kids out into the yard and distributed the various items we brought, read the gospel tracts and then made a circle with them, holding hands. Jennifer or I would pray for the children while Saul translated. Pretty powerful stuff! Children’s church alone was enough to bless my day, but then God decided to allow me to be a part of something that would deepen my faith beyond anything I could ever imagine. Again answering one of my prayers in a way I least expected it.

A woman (Marietta) was waiting for church and the Hondurans started gathering around her saying that she needed a doctor now. They thought she was going to pass out. I ran down to the clinic and got Dr. Jim. He arrived at the church just as Marietta fell over and had what appeared to be a seizure. They asked for an interpreter and we found Pastor Saul and Pastor Marco had separated themselves from the crowd and were praying, hands raised to Heaven, with all that they had on Marietta’s behalf. When they finished, they came back to speak to Marietta who had regained consciousness. Marietta has had seizures for 8 years. She can always feel them coming on by a flash (pain) in her head. We didn’t have any seizure medicine with us and even if we did, she would have no way to continue medication long term. We asked if Saul could explain to her what to do when she feels a seizure coming, such as lay down to prevent injury, etc. Saul explained as we asked, but then proceeded to ‘command’ that she be healed. He told her to speak it and believe it and God would heal her.

If you’ve ever had one of those moments when so much is happening, but time seems to stop moving, you can understand. This was one of those moments. All eyes of the crowd were on this scene as Marietta struggled with her faith and belief in God’s healing. Men in the crowd began to step closer, reaching one hand up to heaven and one hand towards Marietta asking, with full faith and belief, that she could be healed. I didn’t understand all their words, but I fully understood their plea.  Pete explained to me later that Pastor Saul, Pastor Marco and another man near him were all praying the exact same prayer, almost word for word, commanding that Marietta be healed. 

I began to pray with them, timidly at first. Then, as if I gained strength and power from them, I prayed with insistence that she would be healed. Medicine may not be an option but God IS the master healer. Marietta prayed and believed she would be healed and I know in my heart that she will.

After Marietta regained her strength, I escorted her and her children through the clinic and then sat and visited with her and the children until someone came to take her home. We may never know the rest of the story, but I not only gained a new friend today, I received a new understanding and longing for the kind of faith and belief that I witnessed in that moment …..when time stood still.

Beautiful Feet

It rained all day today, so the already muddy field just got wetter and more slippery. It didn’t slow us or the Hondurans down a bit. Tarps and tents were put up and we slopped on. We saw 75 families and 18 people were saved. There are so many people that touched my heart today, it would be hard to even begin to tell their stories. Their stories however will be forever etched in my heart and mind. Of all the amazing people and moments today, the part that humbled me the most was the feet.

As we sat on the sticky mud floor of our pole-barn church, the children pressed in around us anxiously waiting their turn to get bracelets, stickers, crayons, etc. I looked down and saw their mud-caked bare feet and thought of Moses as he approached the burning bush and removed his sandals because he was on Holy ground.

We always sing the song ‘Holy Ground’ before we start clinic in each new location and declare the ground we are working on Holy. It seemed they were walking with bare feet on Holy ground. Even though these people weren’t barefoot by choice, I somehow felt that they were blessed by the ground God had laid before them. I was in awe that God had allowed us to be a part of this path and the feet I saw before me appeared quite beautiful. At the end of the day, our feet were mud caked as well and quite disgusting, but somehow none of us seemed to mind. At least we had shoes….somewhere under the multiple layers of mud.

…..how beautiful are the feet of those who bring the good news. Romans 10:15 As I looked at the children standing before me with their big brown eyes and beautiful smiles, I couldn’t help but think they had BEAUTIFUL FEET.

God is With Us

This morning after worship, we went to the site where we will spend the next three days. I was told what to expect, I saw pictures of what was ahead, but I was not prepared for how my heart would react as we pulled into the village. Another lesson of ‘be careful what you pray for’.

Rewind to last night. Dr. Jim had previewed the site with some others the day before we arrived. He was showing me pictures of the terrain, the work site and the ‘houses’ in the squatters village. As he scrolled through the pictures I caught myself thinking ‘wow, that’s sad, but I have seen similar conditions before’. Then I stopped and realized I was becoming numb to my surroundings. Sometimes the disadvantage of multiple mission trips is that you lose that ‘shock’ factor. For a moment, I think that happened to me and I didn’t like it at all. So I prayed simply “Lord, when I go to the site, allow me to see everything with fresh eyes…..allow me to see it with your heart”. And with that, the conversation turned to something else and we got busy and honestly I didn’t think about that particular prayer anymore. Until……

The bus turned the corner to travel down the bumpy, washed out road to the mud field that we would call a mission field for the next 3 days. I immediately had chill bumps, a lump in my throat, my heart was beating out of my chest and tears pouring from my eyes as we saw shack after shack that these people called their ‘houses’. They weren’t fit for animals. My heart went out to the people as I saw their faces light up and heard them yell to each other that we were coming….help was coming. I had an overwhelming feeling--an urgency-- that we must do all that we can to help these people and at the same time I KNEW that I will never be the same.

As the team scoped out the site and we visited with the people, I thanked God for this fresh perspective. There is a more to our mission (whatever and wherever that may be) than just being the hands and feet of Jesus…..we must also be his HEART. Today I got that loud and clear. We must see people with HIS heart and let Him break ours at the same time. We can’t let ourselves become immune to the needs He places before us.

Saul told me that he and his wife were driving past this village ‘Emanuel’ one day and he told her, ‘the medical team will come help these people some day’. Then he got a call from Scott asking for him to find the neediest people for this trip and of course he knew right where to take us. As Saul visited with the community to make the arrangements, the people gathered around and thanked God for the help they were to receive and told Saul that is why they chose the name ‘Emanuel’ they said because “God is with us”.

So claiming their promise, we are excited to spend the next three days in a place where undeniably “GOD IS WITH US”.