Faith Home has had quite a few sicknesses and problems over the past few months. I am doing my best to give each problem to God and seek His wisdom for healing and answers. I must admit that at times, I feel that twinge of stress where I think "I have no idea what to do". Then as if someone is poking me in the ribs with an elbow, I hear that still small voice that says "you don't have to know what to do, just listen and follow". And so that's how the days go, when all seems out of control. I stop, listen and marvel at how God works out the details...when I remember to step aside and let Him move.
The past few days in the hospital with Fernando were starting to get to me last night. I would read my Bible and pray and feel God's sweet release, then I would pick up the bags of worry for Fernando and the others and then start hashing out all the things in my mind that are going on. I try to keep singing and smiling so Fernando doesn't see the worry on my face.
Around 9:00 last night I started feeling uncomfortable and itchy and lifted my shirt to see an ugly rash covering my stomach and back. My first reaction was panic. Now what? I can't reach Hector or anyone at Faith Home because the cell service has been messed up in that area for two weeks. Yes, I am in a hospital but the doctors are all gone for the night. I don't want to leave Fernando and check into the emergency room to get meds. I can wait, but what if it gets worse? The nurses came in and thought it was an allergic reaction and said I should walk down to the pharmacy and get meds.
As I walked the long corridor to the pharmacy I kept thinking "seriously, what more can go wrong?" Then the familiar poke in the ribs came and the God's comforting voice that said "listen and follow. Give it to me." So I did and I felt the weights lift off my shoulders as I prayed, purchased some meds, floated back to the room and drifted off into the sweetest sleep one has ever had in a hospital chair. The rash is weakening and my faith is strengthening.
My morning devotion today was -appropriately- about Job. I truly appreciated the words and thoughts that reminded me that close communication with God is the only source of comfort, no matter how devastating the circumstances. I love that in the midst of Job's grief of the most horrible sense of loss --HE PRAISED GOD. I often sing when I feel emotions of stress, sadness or frustration creeping in. One of my favorites is "Sanctuary". 'Lord prepare me to be a sanctuary, pure and Holy, tried and true, with thanksgiving, I will be a living sanctuary, for you'.
So whatever this day holds, God I give it to you. I lay it in your faithful hands and trust that you will work in and through me and that Your Glory will be shown as you heal the sick, strengthen the weak, protect the children and show mercy to me in spite of myself.
