Hope to the hopeless

I don't think words can describe the sick feeling in my stomach and turmoil in my mind as we faced the reality today that Maria Isabel will not get her heart surgery.  Hector called the surgery team multiple times on the slim chance that something had changed and they had an opening for her...but nothing.  They said that they would have another team come in January.  For Maria Isabel, that is too long to wait.  My heart sank and I just kept insisting there must be another way, but it seems that the door has closed for this opportunity for Maria Isabel.   

I fought back tears as we went to give the disappointing news of delay to Maria Isabel's mother.  I stood holding this beautiful girl's hands as she looked up at me expectantly with her big brown eyes.  She never blinked as Hector explained the details to her mother...she just kept looking in my eyes.  I held her stare and kept smiling while my mind was screaming "I'm sorry!"  I felt so helpless and just kept wondering 'why'?  Why was she born with this heart defect?   Why was the chance for help offered and then lost?  Why can't I do anything to change this? Why did we find her if we couldn't help her?  Why was her mother given hope, only to have it taken away? WHY????  As my mind was racing and Hector was still talking to the mother, suddenly Maria Isabel smiled the biggest smile.  It looked like she winked at me also.  I felt a peace wash through my heart and mind and could almost audibly hear God's voice say "I've got this".  

God knew Maria Isabel before she was born.  He knew about her heart problem and He knew that she would cross our path.  He even knew she wouldn't have the needed heart surgery at this time.  He has a plan.   Even though I don't understand it or know what the future holds for Maria Isabel...God does.  He's got this!  So I left Maria Isabel and as tears streamed down my face, a flood of hope filled my heart along with a picture of her face burned into my mind.   A picture of God's perfect creation who may not fully understand the details of her seemingly hopeless future, but yet she is resting in His hands with eyes filled with hope.   

We found out that there is a possibility that the Helping Hearts foundation can assist in getting Maria Isabel to the United States to have the surgery.  Hector was told to call next week and they would talk about the details and requirements.  Keep those prayers coming...God's not finished writing the story of Maria Isabel, the beautiful little girl from El Banano, who stole our hearts.  

Thankful

I have seen God's Glory and God's hope in the eyes of people who are living in and with circumstances far beyond the comprehension of most North Americans.  I think back to my childhood when I thought I was being abused by having to wear home-made clothing - Oh what I would give for those bell-bottom pants now (just as a reminder).  I had no idea how blessed I was.   

I have internalized many of the things that I have seen and heard since I arrived in Honduras almost 3 months ago.  The last few nights, I have not slept well as images float through my mind.   Last night as I returned from a long night at the emergency room with a child from a neighboring community, I could still feel the baby fighting me as I held him down with the nebulizer on his face.  When he began to cry, the doctor said that was good - that meant he could breathe.   He needed to breathe...and so did I.  I needed to breathe and I needed to sleep.  

Each day, I begin by asking God to be in control and I see His hand on all of the unexpected moments and situations.  He continually amazes me as He intervenes and speaks through me and others.  So last night I thanked Him for those moments in which I was blessed to see His hand:

-I thanked Him for sending Hector and Maria to help me take care of Faith Home and 82 children here --as well as all the needs out in the communities.  

-I thanked Him for giving us the opportunity to see Him work in the life of little Maria Isabel and her family as she awaits the much needed heart surgery.  

-I thanked him for the amazing children here at Faith Home who continually amaze me and fill my heart with love and joy.

-I thanked Him for bringing these children through difficult pasts, to a place where they can face a promising future.  

-I thanked Him for the older children who are helping with the younger kids and setting good examples (most of the time).  

-I thanked Him for allowing me to witness a big brother sharing his heart with his little sister -who had a problem at school yesterday.  He was translating for me and then he took her in his arms and in his own words told her how much he loved her and talked her through her problem.  

-I thanked Him for the little smile on one of the boys face, as I told him I loved him very much when he got out of the van to go to school (even though he was mad at me for punishing him 3 days ago).  

-I thanked Him for the hope in the lives of those who are desperately seeking (and running) from God's hand on their lives.  

-And I thanked Him for those who continually support and pray for us back home as we try to be God's hands, feet and heart to Faith Home and the Honduran people.  

With a thankful heart for these and many other things, last night I drifted off to sleep and slept well.  I awoke refreshed and renewed and still thankful.  A reminder that I not only need to give God the problems, I need to turn those images in my mind to images of thanks.  Just as I can still see the ugly, plaid, bell-bottom pants and be thankful for a mother who cared enough to make them, I will burn these images in my mind as a reminder to be thankful.  I am Thankful for our God who is gracious and merciful and offers Hope!

No matter what this day brings in Honduras or wherever you are, be thankful.  

Be still and Know that HE is God...and that's enough!

Rest for your Soul

Some days seem incredibly long, filled with so many things that I wonder 'was this really just one day'?  Don't get me wrong, it's mostly good things, but just a lot.  The cool part of it, is God's amazing peace and blessings in every moment...when you look for them.  

Yesterday I felt it in the faces of the children as they recited their memory verses in Sunday School and in the sounds of the chatter of 100 people in the dining hall as we had my new favorite meal -tojadas.  When we were carrying things up the hill to the transition houses, I stopped (to breathe) and soaked up the smiling energy of Darwin, Josue and the others who eagerly helped us-they are all such a blessing!  

Sitting and visiting with the children yesterday afternoon,  I could see God's hand upon their hearts and lives.  Even late last night as God answered yet another prayer and brought one of our young men home safely from his job in San Pedro, I was energized by HIS peace.  

I returned home, tired and many thoughts running through my mind, looked at my phone to see the time and was reminded by my new screen background "Just Pray-God's got this!".

It doesn't matter how tired or busy you are, you can always count on God to give you rest in your soul...let him.  

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 

~Matthew 11:28